It's been a long time...

It's been so long since my last post that I'm not even sure where to start or what to say. It's like seeing a long lost friend almost.

Well, these past couple of months have been a challenge, to say the least. I did my first 1/2 Ironman and had a blast. I did so much better than I expected and while I was there (in Northern CA) I remembered why I signed up for all this....then I came home to AZ weather and suddenly it all changed.

I've had some real struggles with getting my workouts done in this heat. I fear I'm at a breaking point. When it's 104 at 9AM everyday it takes the fun out of everything I do and I dread my workouts daily. I told Dave today that I feel so far behind....I can't do anything quickly in this weather and the fact that it's getting me so down is starting to weigh on me. It's not fun and I just don't care to do it anymore. Unfortunately for me, quitting is not at option, but each day that passes I get more and more bitter. I just need some cooler weather so that I can enjoy being outside again.

I'm starting to do my long weekend rides with racelab and I'm happy about that. Last week we did part of the Tour de Scottsdale route and man...it was not my best day. I started pretty nervous about riding with people I didn't know and I wasn't sure where I was going either so I didn't eat much and ran out of water. I managed 4 hours. I'm not in the IM to break any time records but I do want to make the cutoff times so I'm worried about my speed. My hope is that I do fine. I did the 1/2 bike in 4 hours and it was all hills...

Sunday I have a 10 mile run on my schedule. I'll be up at 4am trying to beat the heat and home before the sun is up. Man I am really hoping for just a section of cool weather along the canal. Knowing that I can actually run 10 miles is a little surreal to me. Sometimes I just can't believe what I pull off. I do breakdown long workouts. I plan 5 miles out and don't count the second 5 home so it doesn't seem so bad. I think that's how I'll get through IM too...it's just 3 bike loops and 3 run loops. Easy - right?

I staring at this screen desperate to remember why I signed up for Ironman. I'm trying to remember how I felt on the Mill Ave. bridge waiting for Dave and Windy to speed by on their bikes when they did IM. Why am I doing this, really? I need that motivation and that desire back in order to finish this. Why? Why am I doing this? I don't remember and that scares me. I need a nap. And that's another thing! Am I the only IM in training that is always tired? After a workout I shove food into my mouth and sleep for 3 hours...