I'm sick

I must have hit my head...because after just 2 days of rest, I miss my training and working super hard...I'll be glad to hit the gym tomorrow.

For the most part

For the most part, I'm taking a couple of days off from training. I have a swim class tonight that I'll probably go to, and Rick and I are going to pre-bike his race course for this weekend but that's about all I have planned...

Taking it down a notch...catching my breath and then we'll see were it goes from there...

I'm back

Okay - things with my mom went pretty well today so I'm back earlier then expected. She's alert, now feeding herself and asking LOTs of questions about what's going on...good news.

Rick is finally home from CA where he successfully hosted the OC Adventure Race. Absence does make the heart grow fonder... welcome back babe...

From a training perspective, I'm a little stressed out. We are in full IM training now and I see the miles and hours adding up each month. Since I have a vacation in the middle of May, I have another 2 week goal...

175 bike miles
50 run
50 bike/5 mile run brick
12 mile long run
swim/swim/swim

I'm overwhelmed with worry. I worry about the time I have to put into training. I worry about my job and not making any money. I worry that this vacation is a working vacation so maybe I won't get as well rested as planned. I'm upset that this year Rick and I won't make our annual road trip because of IM training and costs. I worry about my ability to actually pull all of this off. How am I going to get all of this done in only 2 weeks? It never ends and there are days I want it to all go away. I don't want to talk about it, see it, train for it or anything - NOTHING!!!!! RROOAARRRRRRR!!!!! damnit!! All of this CRAP is chipping away at me and this whole process is just not fun anymore. And NO, I don't have PMS right now so if you are thinking it, DON'T.

So I have my 1/2 IM coming up in Aug and the entire 54 mile bike is hills....like BIG freakin hills. I'm so weak on hills. I get tired going up the freakin Dreamy Draw...that's it.... I can't write about this anymore. I'm done! I'm DONE!

No Post

So real quick....having some issues with my mom, who suffers from Parkinson's Disease...no time to post so please check back in a couple days and I'll try to catch up.

Pretty long weekend

Okay, Friday night was the Splash & Dash and my goal was to simply get out of the water without looking back to see how far behind I was...did I do it or not?? What do you think? The answer is within this post :)

I felt pretty good going into the event...as in more prepared this time. I have been going to my swim classes twice a week and of course running my @ss off so I was curious to see if my time improved...which it did!!! By about 3 minutes. I had just a little anxiety before the race though...just not knowing if Dave would be there so I was very distracted in the beginning. I kept looking around and he's so quiet that he could have been standing behind me and I wouldn't even know it. As crazy as this sounds, I always want to make him proud and I want to work hard to impress him. Both Dave and his wife Windy made it, about 10 seconds before the gun went off so I could relax and just play hard...I put a lot of focus on NOT being so delicate in the water, and he noticed my effort :) I want to share all of my personal victories with everyone who helps me...it's a victory we all share together...I love my friends (and Buddy too)

My friend Lisa did the Splash & Dash too so the pressure was really on to give a good performance. She's a great competitor, and since we are about the same speed - trying to beat her keeps my mind focused...maybe she'll be my pacer at IM??

My step-mom went into the hospital on Saturday so I was not able to get much else done over the weekend. She's back home tomorrow, so I'm looking forward to getting back into the game. The Dr. thought she had a stroke, but since ruled it out...lots of tests...lots of hospital food - yuke!

Define "Easy Week"

Yeah, the next time I hear "easy week" I'm going to get a written statement from Dave on what that actually means. What are the TERMS of "easy week" exactly. [by the way - you still owe me .55]

Today during "easy week" we rode our bikes UPPP South Mtn. Oh man...the easy part was that he was not timing us. Here is what I think...and let me try to say this in a way that makes sense (sometimes I confuse technical terms etc). Going up a hill, my watts (power output) had been really low, which translates into slow motion speed - is that an oxymoron? Dave and I have been doing a lot of work to improve my output and get those watts up. I think the last time we checked on the trainer my watts had improved, though not for long periods of time. In short, I'm starting to power up hills (good news). My theory though...because I'm working harder up hills now, my legs get tired really fast. I don't have the leg endurance to power up all of those South Mtn hills so I started getting sluggish through some of them, especially towards the top. I knew my watts had gone down...I could feel the difference but being EASY WEEK and all, I opted to keep my mouth closed about it...I'm fairly confident that he knows... :)

The Splash & Dash is Friday and this time I will not get out of the water and turn around to see how many people are behind me!!! I WILL NOT!

The Gym

Here is a picture of the small gym I go to on Mon & Fri...it's a private gym that personal trainers take their clients to, so it's rarely full...which is super nice!

Skinny girl trapped inside a fat body

Scouting an area is key! A few weeks ago Windy took a group up to scout the area where the Women's Adventure Race was going to be held and it sure paid off. The race was yesterday and as soon as we saw the map, we knew exactly where all the CP's were. I was SO HAPPY, and a little relieved. I wanted to come home a winner and this was one advantage I knew we had in the bag.
My teammate Lisa was our captain yesterday...she's very strong and I just kept trying to imagine myself on tow with her. If I could just keep a steady pace we'd do well. Our navigation was spot on, and our team dynamic could not have been any better. I won't bore you too much with race details, but we paddled, biked, hiked & paddled with 3 "mystery events" between...super fun!

As you can imagine, I came home with a pretty big high from winning twice...1st for our division and 3rd overall. WOW - I didn't plan on that and still can't wrap my brain around any of it.

I'll be honest though..today, when I looked through all of the pictures I do not look as strong as I feel, and I'm not happy about it. In fact, it upsets me very much. I feel like I work really hard but the results just don't show. How many more hours in a day can I exercise? Freakin seriously! I'm at this shit for hours at a time and my body just does not reflect it...I don't feel like a winner. There is a void inside me and it gets bigger and bigger. I don't know how to fill it...I don't know why I keep feeling worse about myself. The longer I go through this process the bigger my hole gets and the more frustrated I am. Geez, you'd think I was on steroids with all my emotional ups and down - but maybe that's what I need in order to get my body into the shape I want!

I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to see the results of my hard work - is there? I want a body builders body and I'm tired of waiting for it!

Winners!

Team Little Fish Energy Lab came in 1st in their division, 3rd overall! Little Fish caught between two Big Fish!

A Note From Kim Nelson

Tomorrow is the Women's Adventure Race and I'm super excited! I'm seriously looking to come home with a medal around my neck for this one.

Our team name is Little Fish Energy Lab. HA-HA It's an inside joke that would take too long to explain - but it's freakin hilarious to the rest of us. Dare I say, this race is dedicated to the "wanna be" Nelson's? LMAO

Watch for my post on Sunday or Monday for a race report and pictures....should be an adventure for sure...

Kim Nelson :D

I'm still a baby duck

Okay some really great news! Last night at the pool, our coach moved me up a lane!!!! Fantastic huh? I know, I'm really excited myself. I have about six more lanes to go but one foot in front of the other and I'll surely make it soon. The last lane is where the serious "swim masters" are...wooooooo

Anyway - yesterday was a pretty serious workout day for me. With my 2-week challenge ending this week I put a good 6 or 7 hours into getting some mileage out of the way. Easy biking, gym, 10 mile run and then 2300m swim in class last night. Needless to say, I was a little worried about the long ride with Dave today - especially if he was taking me up hills (which he likes to do). He was pretty happy to hear I did my long run so maybe we avoided the majority of Mummy Mtn to give my legs a rest. Instead he chose a long steady climb up Via Linda. Such a doll that man....

I was watching those cute baby ducks at the canal the other day. They swim close to their mother for a few seconds, then a little bit away from her and then come back super fast with their little quackers honken... as if to ask mother duck if they are okay to swim farther. They are testing the waters, but still rely on their mother for comfort and assurance. Sometimes I feel that way with Dave. He's very good at giving me praise and pushing me to go further on my own...but he's always there when I need to pull back and stay close. He's like a daddy duck LMAO!!! hahahaha That's freakin hilarious! I wonder if he still reads my blog? All I can picture is Dave's head on a duck body...floatin down the canal hahahaha Sometimes when he hollers at me it sounds like a quack! QUACK, QUACK, QUACK....HAHAHAHA okay - if he does still read my blog, I better stop while I'm ahead... :D

Codependent

Yep..I'm very codependent. This past week I've had a pretty challenging time with..well...time management. I can't get my head to do longer workouts without Dave. That's not entirely true. I can't get my @ss on my bike without Dave babysitting me...that's the real truth. I'm not sure why but it's been challenging for me to transition from run to bike. I can do bike to run, but man...my head does not want to turn it around and so I haven't been on my bike as much as I need to be. I'll reach my 2-week goals, but I'll be working my @ss off this week to play catch up on the bike. UGH!

I was suppose to do a long ride this weekend but blew it off. I did worry about what would happen at the gym this morning. eeks. I tried to play it low key hoping that Dave would not really ask too much about it, but I felt like a giant elephant was in the room so I just let it out...I didn't do my long ride [big sigh of relief] There - I said it!

Dave made me an offer - 20 minutes on "THE MACHINE" for 5 bike miles. Five bike mile was the better choice, but I did choose the machine for my own punishment, and to remind myself how challenging it was. Don't tell Dave this, but it was not really that bad ;D

Today I'm feelin pretty good so once my breakfast settles I'm going to get this 10 mile long run done for the week....My run yesterday was really fast so I'm curious to see if it was a fluke, or if I really am getting faster.

One week to go

Wow, the clock is ticking on my two week goals! I calculate the numbers in my head and on paper at least 3 times a day just to make sure I didn't skip a mile here or there. Then if I don't ride, run or swim the entire configuration changes so fast. Keeping track of all this is like adding a discipline into the mix - geez.

I had a long run on my schedule today - 8 miles. I was feeling pretty good so I added almost another mile. I prepared properly with water and fuel so I'm happy to get the extra time on my feet. The best part of the whole thing was seeing the baby ducks along the canal. I have to admit...I stopped twice just to watch them swim - they were too cute to pass up.

So yesterday was my first day back to the Tri-group swim class. The same coach, Jon was still teaching and mentioned how much better I looked in the water. He put me in the slow lane where I kept drafting off the folks in front of me...I've gotten so much faster then a year ago...if only it showed in open water.

Pretty boring post.....here is some good info! I have a blister on my @ss from that freakin computrainer! I sweat SO MUCH and just sitting in the same position without the ability to move around or get some wind to dry me out is just too much - I can't take it. I have a heat rash and blister where the sun don't shine... :D

I came this close [ this is how close ] to getting hit by a car yesterday. I was crossing the street during my run and a woman was not looking as she turned the corner....had I been looking any other direction except in front of me, she would have hit me....

A Train wreck of a workout

What is the deal? I've been on the computrainer for 3 hours before and didn't fall apart like I did today. Dave describes it as a train wreck workout - lmao! I knew I was going to be on the trainer today and was ready for it, kind of. Our goal was to do the first 20 miles of the Vineman course, which I'm doing in August, just to see what it's like. Well, I hate that freaking machine! I'm so frustrated...not with how I did, I'm frustrated that the computrainer has to be a part of my training. I have never hated a machine so much. My body just goes completely numb and in all honesty, I didn't know a person could sweat so much. I hated it, and my performance reflected in the numbers across the computer.

It's so true, it was a train wreck and I'll own that...bundle the whole thing up, bless it and toss it out the window (just like Dave told me too)...

My running goal is coming along great... I'd much rather be outside then inside! I'm currently at 4 miles a day, with an 8 mile run coming on Thursday. Tonight I start back with the Sun Devil Swim Masters in order to improve my swim time. I look forward to getting back into a swim routine. So much to do and not enough hours to do it all...

The Blessing

[Please don't forget that this blog is my public journal. I try to make it funny in order to entertain you, but some of these posts are intended just for me..well, they all are actually. I can't help but feel a roller coaster of emotions though so...hold on to your seat belts folks!]

Let's talk about my training goals first.... I have to finish 150 bike miles, 50 run miles and 5000 swim meters in just two weeks! That's a lot of running, I know! Remember last week I said Dave had a gift for me..well, this little gift is one I'd like to return please :0 No, seriously....I have to include two long runs - one 8-miles and one 10-miles. Oh man - I'm a little nervous about how I'm going to get all this done. I'm looking at some long days ahead of me and I was also warned that in May my challenges and goals will be increasing. I knew it was coming...so as I always say, "let's just get this shit done!!" yeeehaw baby ;)

I was watching a pod cast today from Joel Ostein who said, "Thank God for the fullness of His blessings." I just sat for a while after hearing his message and started making a list of my blessings. About half way down my list, something I wrote stood out from the rest, "The desire is in my heart to improve in every aspect of my life." Yes, I do consider the desire itself to be a blessing... I want to improve so much so fast that I'm missing some valuable lessons. This competitive spirit I have is not part of the deal. It's not humble, and that is key for me to realize.

I believe with my whole heart that my friends are here to teach me humility through example. You know who you are..you have a whole closet full of medals and awards for just about everything you have done or touched in your life. But I notice that when asked who won, you say, "I did" or, "we did" quietly and with enormous humility. You never want the spotlight on you, you're never flamboyant and THAT is what you are here to teach me. That is why God has put our paths together. Now, just because I know this does not mean my issue is solved....the hard part is fighting through this change internally...and that I cannot do alone so I lift up my problems, my lack of humility to my Lord and I'm asking for supernatural change in my life. I'm ready, I'm willing and I'm asking.....

I have so much to learn

I have so much to learn. So, here is what happened. I did the first Splash & Dash on Thursday night. It was an eye opener...or eyeS opener I should say. First, my swimming stinks. I have not been giving enough time to swim practice and Dave's response to my swim was, "You look delicate when you swim" What? I was working really hard, but not hard enough. After that I decided to sign up with the Sun Devils Tri-Club and swim twice a week again. The only way to get myself to swim is if I pay for it..so, chaaaching...Ironman is making me a poor woman.

I left feeling really defeated - and it's my own fault. I have a tendency to suck the fun out of some of the things I do by being competitive. After making my way out of the water on Thursday I turned around to see how many people were behind me. That's terrible! If I'm not in the middle of the pack then horrible things run through my head like, "why are you even doing all this Kim...this is way over your head. You are not strong enough or good enough to race with these people" and I'm just completely shattered by the whole thing. I'm my worst enemy at times. I measure my success based on my position and because I'm always at the bottom...it pretty much stinks down here. ugh... I don't know how to stop being this way. My friends, (whom I love dearly so don't take this wrong) always come home with a medal around their necks....they are quick to tell me to compete only with myself but come on. If you have never been on the bottom you have no idea how it feels to watch everyone succeed while I continue to fail. It's pretty tough sometimes.

So how do I pick up the pieces? Well, my original plan was to go on a long bike ride and figure things out in my head but last night I felt like I needed some help getting through this slump so I called on my friends Butch and Vickie. We ended up doing a mtn bike ride today and though I begged them to ditch me soon after we started because I could not keep up, they refused and we ended up having a challenging and fun ride. I needed that hard push...I needed to overcome those challenges and I just needed to get beat up a little..it felt really great and I feel much better.

I know that something is broken inside me so now it's time to try and fix it...I do suppose I better figure it out fast. One final note...and I mean this in the kindest way. I know some of you will read this and email me with great comments and accolades about how far I've come and I sincerely appreciate all of it...but you don't need to this time. Just let me figure this out - cool?

Bike Shorts Review

Okay, the long awaited Bike Shorts Review is done. Look to the right, down just a bit and you'll see it on the right hand side. Enjoy and feel free to ask questions. I'll warn you, I'm pretty up front about how some of these shorts make me feel so read with caution.

Happy Anniversary

This month I will celebrate my Ironman anniversary. Sounds funny, but it's true. I started training with Dave a year ago this month and look at how things have changed. I remember the first time he told me to start riding my bike to the gym. I was sure he was kidding because it was 16 miles and that seemed like a century ride to me then....now I'm up to 67 miles in a day!

I also remember one of our first workouts where I told him I wanted to do the Ironman. He must have thought I was out of my mind! I certainly was in no condition for an IM! I think a lot of my friends were shocked at my choice of races too. I could hear it in their voices when they would say, "Oh wow, that's great" .... didn't you really mean, "um....yeah, good luck with that". Don't worry, I knew it sounded too big for me but I'm not afraid. I don't think about the distance overall, I think of it in segments. Each segment has a certain number of laps and I can wrap my head around all of it. I'm going to be okay - I can feel it. I'm going to finish what I started.

Since all this started I've gone through a tremendous transformation mentally, as well as physically. My eyes are bigger and my goals are lofty. I've started thinking beyond IM about other events and races I might want to participate in so I'm creating a plan for myself. I do enjoy being on my bike for long distances more then I ever thought I would so I see it in my future. Speaking of - I do need to post my bike shorts review. It's just sitting down and taking the time to write it out. Some of these shorts are crotch killers so I want to save you the discomfort I've been through...hey - I'm saving one crotch at a time! :) I'm getting off subject....

What's my point? Hell, I don't know. My dogs are barking and now I lost my train of thought.... I do have goals for this month, but I don't know what they are just yet. This is all I know - yesterday Brigid towed my ass all the way around Papago Park. She was working on strength, I was working on speed so we made a good team. She's a strong running and gave me a great workout. We made it around in 22 minutes! I could never make that time on my own. Well done Brig. That was the last of my 70 miles for March. My reward - time off for good behavior. No, just one day off. Dave says that on Monday I'll be starting a pretty tough 2-week challenge so I'm super excited to hear what it is!!! It's almost like knowing he has a present for me, but I can't open it until Monday...that's how excited my stomach feels.....hurray!!! He does keep things super fun and always fresh.

Tomorrow is the Splash n Dash - burrrrrr - anyone have a wetsuit I can borrow? Mine doesn't have sleeves so I'm going to be SO COLD! ugh....