I'm back

Okay - things with my mom went pretty well today so I'm back earlier then expected. She's alert, now feeding herself and asking LOTs of questions about what's going on...good news.

Rick is finally home from CA where he successfully hosted the OC Adventure Race. Absence does make the heart grow fonder... welcome back babe...

From a training perspective, I'm a little stressed out. We are in full IM training now and I see the miles and hours adding up each month. Since I have a vacation in the middle of May, I have another 2 week goal...

175 bike miles
50 run
50 bike/5 mile run brick
12 mile long run
swim/swim/swim

I'm overwhelmed with worry. I worry about the time I have to put into training. I worry about my job and not making any money. I worry that this vacation is a working vacation so maybe I won't get as well rested as planned. I'm upset that this year Rick and I won't make our annual road trip because of IM training and costs. I worry about my ability to actually pull all of this off. How am I going to get all of this done in only 2 weeks? It never ends and there are days I want it to all go away. I don't want to talk about it, see it, train for it or anything - NOTHING!!!!! RROOAARRRRRRR!!!!! damnit!! All of this CRAP is chipping away at me and this whole process is just not fun anymore. And NO, I don't have PMS right now so if you are thinking it, DON'T.

So I have my 1/2 IM coming up in Aug and the entire 54 mile bike is hills....like BIG freakin hills. I'm so weak on hills. I get tired going up the freakin Dreamy Draw...that's it.... I can't write about this anymore. I'm done! I'm DONE!