Sunday, January 25, 2009

Watch and Learn

Here is Buddy fast asleep in my car. We went down to watch his owners race in the 12 hour mtn bike race yesterday and after a quick jog, lots of hellos, petting and panting he was ready for a nap. Poor guy was fast asleep before I got him home. It was a fun adventure for Bud...

It was a fun adventure for me too. I was filled with emotions yesterday as I watched my friends compete in this 12 hour race. Watching the transitions, watching what and how they eat, change clothes and bikes all of it helped me plan for IM in November.

That's not all I learned. I want to do it! I'm totally in for next year and even if I only complete 5 laps in 12 hours I'll be better for it. I'm not sitting on the sidelines after IM is over. I'm in the game 100%.

But today, I'm feeling pretty small when I think about what I just witnessed. My training is great but I have such a long way to go. Will I be good enough? God I am so sick of asking myself that question. I'm so very tired of always feeling like second best ya know....like I'm two steps behind everyone else who is waiting for me to catch up. I want to play! I want to participate! I want to be strong and fast enough! ugh... what if after the IM I still feel not good enough? What's this for then? It's an battle in my brain that won't turn off...

I woke up this morning before the birds thinking about the internal strength that it takes to do a 12 hour mtn bike race. It literally brings tears to my eyes thinking about how badly I want that strength. I can taste it and I feel the blood rush through my body when I think about it. I just wish I knew how to get it. I want to be those people and my only hope now is that IM will get me there....

Today I'm doing my own biking with my women's group. We have great new jerseys so I'll try and get a photo to post. I'm going for another 40 miles and maybe a 3 mile run when I get home just to push my mind a little bit more. I enjoy brick workouts much more then just one or the other.

Congrats to my friends who were all podium finishers yesterday..Dave, Windy, Vickie & Butch and Brigid... very inspiring - very touching...thank you...

1 comment:

Vickie said...

Kim,
THANK YOU for coming out to the race yesterday! I can't tell you how much it helps, to see a friend and know they are there... in transition waiting to cheer for you. And especially YOU....the one person who I can hear cheering a mile away!!! :-) Thanks again...it helps a ton!!

See you out on the 12hr course next year!!!!!