I can't really be 40

It's now 2:50am and I've been up for about 30 minutes....I have been tossing and turning for hours and thinking about the number 4-0. It's just a number...why do I feel so wrapped up in it?

I honestly feel as though I have found the sacred fountain of youth. It's not in a little bottle or at the Dr's office. It's exercise!! It's pushing my body beyond what it wants to do at any given time. My lungs expand and fill with more air then ever before, my heart pounds a strong purposeful beat, my veins are BIG and together my body feels younger and more alive then any other time in my life. I'm turning back the clock so let's call this my 38th birthday instead and leave it at that!

Yesterday I stumbled across a race report written by Sarah J. Tracy, a woman I have never met before but a Ironman finisher and inspiring writer. She really summed up how I feel about my training, and about the processes that one goes through when in the journey towards becoming and Ironman. "Obstacles are a natural part of the journey and should be celebrated. They serve as intermittent nuggets of evidence that the goal is stretching you to new places." Isn't that true. For every time I write about my struggles, not far behind I write about an enormous victory and growth. I have never failed in my training and though some days present great challenge, I am achieving new heights and new strength that I use to dream about.

My favorite quote from Sarah is, "being in the bottom does not equate with lack of effort or lack of feelings of accomplishment." LOVE IT! I did equate being at the bottom of the pack with my being the weakest of the bunch but after reading Sarah's story my view is shifting. "A view from the back of the pack is a stunning view that is qualitatively different than a view from the sidelines." I may not ever be in the center of the pack but that does not mean that I'm not strong or worthy of participating. Look at me now! Watch me work hard! Watch me participate in my own life! My name may never be called for a podium finish and that's okay...I will always hold my head high with pride knowing that I did not waist one single day.

I can't reiterate enough what a difference support from Rick and my friends has made. Rick has sacrificed so much in order for me to train and participate in this event. It means less weekend trips for fun because I have an event on my calendar almost every weekend from March through November. He hears my stories, both good and bad over and over and he's never told me that he does not have time to listen. He washes my exercise clothes when he knows my favorite bike shorts are dirty and I have a long ride coming. He encourages me to take naps at every available opportunity. He adjusts the back of my swim suit because it gets bunchy when I put it on and he seems to enjoy helping me get the wet thing off..he's always here...he's always saying "Yeah Kim" and he's always there to pick me when I need that extra hand. Rick will be here when it's done and I have "post race depression" and don't know what to do next. He will be there to carry me to the car after the race and he'll be there to help me get off the toilet because my quads are so cramped up I can't stand. I would not be able to do this without you, Rick ....simply saying Thank You does not come close to how I feel about your contributions in my life. You allow me to be selfish right now and I love you deeply, appreciate you enormously and thank you from the bottom of my heart.....my life can't get any richer then it is at this moment.

Some serious smack down!

Today was pretty crazy....I'm still a little bit confused about what happened. Don't get me wrong, I know that my endurance has improved but I still feel like my head is not always in the right place so I work against myself. My thoughts are a little scattered, bare with me...

I did the Duathlon route at Papogo Park again today..you know, the one where I run four laps, mountain bike two and run six again? I just blogged about it not long ago (though I don't remember what I wrote). The transition between bike/run is always a bit challenging for my legs and the run start is up a little hill - we all know how I really struggle with hills. So we've had goals in mind each time I do this course and today it was to finish both bike laps each in 15 minutes or less. EEKS!!! I knew that was going to be HARD. Not long ago I rode that loop ONE time in 17+ minutes. How that heck will I pull off 15 or less for each lap now?

Anyway, my first four run laps were pretty consistent with the last time I did this route so not really a big deal. The challenge really starts on the bike so off I go. This course is mostly uphill but I was ready.. About half way I can really feel my quads and then like clockwork the voice in my head that says you won't make it anyway so just slow down. UGH! I hate her!!! I knew it was going to happen....it always does and I was ready. I fought her the entire way! I stood up on my bike and beat my ass to the top of the hill as if I was trying to bike away from her.... I get down the hill to hear a big "HOLY SHIT" from Dave! I've never seen his face so lit up :) Apparently I made route one in 13:55 (I believe it was 55 seconds). WOW!! I very rarely hear Dave say a curse word so I knew what had happened was pretty spectacular. I was surprised, but had to fight for lap two to be equally good. The bitch in my head was gone now and it was just me this time...I made lap two FASTER then lap one...but I can't remember the time!!! 13.? I remember it was better.

I ended up taking 9 minutes off my time - I'm at 48 minutes now and I can't even believe I did it!! I exceeded Dave's goal by such a huge margin and the best part was seeing how happy he was. That made it all worth it for me... I wonder if that's how he will look after I finish the IM..hmmmm

March goal update - It's 325 bike miles with 70 run miles

XXX - Rated

That's it! B-O'N and I agree that the locker room at El Dorado pool is too X rated for us...There are just too many naked old ladies walkin around for our taste. Am I the only modest person alive? I mean after I shower I get dressed IN the shower stall.. We've been traumatized too many times...

Needless to say, our swim was pretty fun. There were four of us swimming today and everyone was in a pretty corny mood. The plan was 32 laps a.k.a. 1-mile non-stop. Now, this was not MY plan going into today's swim, but once Brigid said it I was committed. It's really hard for me to back down from a challenge no matter what size. If I can go at my own pace, I'm in. Off I go and 40 something minutes later I was done. (I can't remember the time exactly) Not so bad I guess. My focus really was on how to push myself when I got tired so I walked away feelin pretty good. Not sure I can do it for 2 mile yet, but I have lots of time.

Did about 5 miles this morning with Dave. Let me say it again, running with him always stresses me out. I think I've narrowed down why and it's the cardio. I can hear my breathing become irregular when I start to worry about where the turnaround is or how much longer or will he tell me it was just a warm up... I haven't been able to get comfortable or learn to pace myself when I don't know where I'm going or for how long I'll be running.

So the Dr. says I have tendinitis in my shoulder and gave me a cortisone shot along with a prescription for therapy. It's nice to finally know why my shoulder hurts all the time and why my left side can't keep up with my right.

March goals - at least 350 bike miles and 75 run miles. Walk in the park right?

100 Miles

I'm not sure my weekend could have been any better.

It started with my 60 mile ride, of which I've blogged. That night Rick and I got a call from Butch asking about a mtn bike ride early Sunday...HELL YEAH! So off we go and it was really loads of fun. I have to admit, I was pretty nervous about my legs. I'm not a fast mtn biker and you know I hate takin up the rear all the time so I was pretty stressed out thinking about it. I was just going to push as hard as I could and as it turns out, I was on fire...I had one of my better biking days. Let's set the record straight though. Butch and Vickie were not going their typical fast pace and I appreciate that. Probably for the first time I did not feel like the one holding everyone back and honestly, it felt fantastic! The path was just perfect for me...FLAT! Seriously...it was pretty smooth except for two pretty big hills that I did try.

We all made it back after 18 miles and out to lunch. During our drive to lunch Rick says, "you know, if you go bust out 22 miles on your road bike you will have done 100 miles this weekend." WHAT!!! NOOOOO...take it back!! Take it back!!! Yeah, he says this. Total manipulation too. He adds, "just think how proud Dave will be when you tell him you did 100 miles in two days. But if you're tired then never mind." Oh man... he just committed me to another 22 miles today I'm thinking.

I knew the biggest mistake would be not jumping on my bike as soon as I walked in the door so I ran for it quickly. Load my gear, put my shoes on and just getter done.... Slow and steady wins the race right?

I'm finally done...home, pooped, HUNGRY again and a little amazed at what I just pulled off in two days. My weekend challenges are getting more and more fun. I think my next challenge will be one IM bike loop. From Tempe Town Lake to Fountain Hills and back. I'm really curious to ride it outside of the computrainer. Either way...I'll be outside.

Goin Green? Hummmm

Well I did it! I met my goal today of riding 60 miles. WOW, I can't even believe I made it. Yes I can...I knew I could make it but I didn't know how long it would take and how tired I would feel. I started to crash at about mile 50ish. My stomach would not take any more Shot Blocks or Sharkies so my legs were pretty sluggish towards the end.

So check this out ladies. How many times have you gone to the bathroom and discovered your undies are on inside out? Seriously, think about it. Do I flip them back over now that I discovered it or is that like wearing them twice? Geez...what do I do?? Ooppss Did I just announce that I don't wear a thong? Ouch...okay, I wear "granny pannies" and I won't ever wear a string up my @ss - EVER! I'd be pickin my seat all day!!! Yeah, yeah, Rick HATES the granny's but some things I will not compromise on.

Anyway..you are probably wondering WHY I'm talking about my undies. See those bike shorts in the photo? Those are riding boxer shorts on the OUTSIDE of my bike shorts! SHUT UP!! The undies are on the WRONG SIDE! I'm not that big of an idiot. I actually did that on purpose. I really like the extra pad on long rides but those boxers crawl up my thighs so I was thinking...hummm....I don't plan on seeing anyone while riding so why not put them on the outside, right? Sounds logical. It kinda worked. They still crawled but it was more manageable since I had shorts under.

I signed up for a 1/2 Ironman distance race on Aug 1st. I'm pretty anxious about it.. Whenever I really start to think about the distances I get pretty scared so I try not to put a whole lot of thought into what I'm doing distance wise. It's getting closer - I can feel it!

I think I'm coming out of it

It's no secret that the past few days have not been that fun..or eventful...or really worthy of a post. I've gone back and forth about whether or not I even wanted to post today. I'm sitting in front of my computer, which is in front of my window and I'm looking outside at a hibernating tree in my yard. In some ways I kinda feel like that old tree....gray and crusty looking... certainly crusty because I haven't taken a shower since Wed morning and gray because I'm trying to dig myself out of the PMS blues that I get. I hate this!

There is good news and that is I woke up feeling a little better today. For whatever reason I found a smile on my face at one point today and that's certainly a sign of recovery...for me and my family. The bad news is though...I have not worked out since Tuesday. Wouldn't you know it too that on Wed I met a man who did an IM, and several IM distance races who wanted to chat about my training. I got the impression that he was not impressed with where I'm at....but we all know that everyone likes to act like a coach. Some people say I'm starting too early, he thinks I'm not doing enough...who would have thought that so many people really care.

The crazy thing is - that portion of my life, the finish of IM is already written..it's done...all I have to do is open the pages and I can only do it one day at a time.

I have to get out of this house tomorrow and get on my bike. I'm riding 60 miles, which will be my longest ride so far and I'm almost certain that Rick will be glad to get me out of his hair.

The Blah's

I've been a little poopy this week....I've got the PMS blues I think. I'm bloated, fat, tired and just overall not feelin it this week. I had my workout with Dave on Tuesday and fell apart. We did some crazy biking on the computrainer that wore me down mentally and physically. The idea was to keep my watts at 130 or above for 4 miles on a slight uphill and it was all I could do not to cry. I just did not want to be there. We did this 4 times with each time getting more and more challenging.

Following my was shoulder MRI where this time I lost it. I'm claustrophobic and the second she started to wheel me in that coffin I had a panic attack. I was not going to be able to do it. After several minutes of her calming me down she put a towel over my eyes and we tried again. I could hear her say, "you're doing great Kimberly" and give me that pat on the leg to assure me that the walls were not falling in on me. It was the longest 20 minutes of my life and I've never prayed so intently. I hope to never be in that situation again.

I'm suppose to swim/bike/run today and as I sit here thinking about it I don't want to go. I'm horrified with the weight I've gained over the past few weeks as I started to get comfortable and cocky with my training... That equates to cookies + soda = fat ass and gut. ugh... If people were not counting on me to swim/bike/run with them I probably would go crawl back into bed today with a box of min oreos from my pantry.

Picking my battles

It never fails....Joel Osteen seems to know what I need to hear each week and this past Sunday was no exception. It's all about picking my battles. I don't think it relates just to people either. I was biking home this morning and was thinking about the upcoming hill...do I want to work hard and "attack" it as Dave says or do I want to just ride it casual and climb slow? I remembered the the message I heard on Sunday about picking my battles. I chose to fight today and pour my heart into getting better on hills - no matter what the size. Whether it's my fitness level that causes me to be slow or my head I was prepared to fight both battles. I felt really good when I was finished and I appreciate my body not giving in to the discomfort.

So this week I think I have PMS. Yeah, bummer I know. I feel introverted, cautions and I crave sugar. ugh. The drain on my emotions is really wearing me out...poor Rick! He's locked in the house and he can't get out!

Oh, so there is this woman who rides Dreamy Draw all the time. I see her at least four times a week right. She's super focused and serious looking, has a tricked out bike and goes up and down, up and down the hilly parts. The second or third time I saw her I thought, "well, she's got to realize we pass each other all the time" so I started smiling at her and giving her the road bike wave right. Nothing...she has the grumpy face ALL THE TIME! I named her Fly Like Wind Grumpy Face. My name is Happy Girl With Green Coat, since I ride with a green fleece by the way. Anyway, she makes me sad when I see her. Like her frown is trying to reach out and slap the smile off my face. She's picking the wrong battle here! I think the next time I'm going to say Hello Neighbor as she whizzes by me...won't THAT piss her off :0

Here is the deal. Sometimes I wait to blog because I have some things going on inside my head that I need to understand first. (I wish I could turn it off but it makes for good blogging!) I have distractions that I have to clear out again. The battle I choose is no battle at all so it's back to business as it was a month ago. I decided that my long bike days will be Saturday instead of Sunday. I need to get my weekly message that feeds me for the week and it comes Sunday morning. It also gives me time to spend with Rick doing fun stuff...he is too busy during the week. Riding with NWLB has been good for me and I'll miss it. I didn't get to ride too much but it was enough to build my confidence and get me started on the road.

Nothing too funny today... it's almost 10:00pm and I'm tired. MRI on my shoulder tomorrow so I'll miss my swim with Brig and I'm bummed.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Hey, can you turn the lights off please?

Summits Challenge

I can't believe what an awesome day I'm having! So I challenged Rick to 4-summits today... Piestewa Peak (aka Squaw Peak), Shaw Butte,
Lookout Mtn and North Mtn. We started with the biggest and best, Piestewa Peak...it was PACKED. I have never seen so many people hiking. Is that our next summit in the distance of this photo?







Summit 2 was North Mtn. It was pretty easy up but after comin down summit 1 my knee was pretty sore now. I started to think this challenge was going to be too easy and was thinking about doing summit 1 again after we were finished...the day was still young!
Summit 3, Shaw Butte. I didn't mind this hike too much but it's not one of Rick's favorites. The trail is pretty torn up and nasty so we busted this out as fast as we could. Okay, now I'm getting a blister on my toe and having second thoughts about revisiting summit 1....






Our last summit was Lookout Mtn. I've never been to the top of this summit so I was looking forward to it. My calf muscles are pretty tight now and my original idea about doing summit 1 was swiftly removed from my thought. What a terrific feeling when we reached the top.

I really put the smack down on my expectations. I knew it would be a mistake to start fast so I took it slow and steady (I have a constant ringing of Dave's voice in my ear telling me watch my pace). Once the climbing started I put my head down, put my whole heart into it and impressed myself. I feel pretty good hours later but I expect I'll be pretty sore tomorrow. Rick and I are dedicated to an easy 20 mile bike ride to work out the lactic acid we both expect to have in the morning.

Happy Valentines Day!

Nice way to end a week

A very good friend of our family told me late last week to give my troubles over to God and everything else will fall into place. Boy, he sure was right! My week turned out better and less stressful on the personal side then I thought it would and I'm so glad. I don't need the distractions - that's for sure. Joel Osteen's prescription for the week was to laugh out loud at least three times a day... I did and I could feel the laughter run throughout my body - it was amazing and fun. But you certainly don't read my blog to find out about my renewed relationship with God do you...you want the juicy details of how my training has gone...

Let's see...where did I leave off? Oh yeah, Dave and I running. Well, yesterday I met Cliff for my last swim lesson. I'll miss him...he's really taught me a lot. We used the paddles again and I have to put my foot down and say firmly that I don't like using them. They are really hard to use and I just get tired really fast. I can't seem to swim well after I've used them a few times. At any rate we swam lap after lap after lap...(well, I think you get the idea) until our session was done.

Laureen and I went for a 26 mile ride and with a horrid headwind it should really count as double. It's tough to bike and shiver at the same time. This is the first time Laureen and I have spent time alone together and what a hoot she is. We seem to see things eye to eye so it was super easy to relate and feel comfortable right from the start.

Following our bike we did a 3 mile run loop. She's a die-hard! With just 3 minutes left on the clock it didn't matter that we were approaching our vehicles, we had to pass them and keep going until the clock ran down. NOOOO!!!! She's just like Dave! She never stops short!! I don't mind. It's good for me to be around stronger players. The time went by so fast that I was a little sad when we parted.

I'm not sure yet what I'm doing today. I have a Dr. appointment at 2:30 for my knee and shoulder so with a full weekend planned I might take the entire day off....we'll see how it goes.

I'll see you again this weekend!

The smack down on breakfast!

I sure can eat a TON of food! Let me just say this....my favorite part of IM training is how much food I get to eat. Don't get me wrong, I don't eat cookies all day (well, not most days) but when I sit down for breakfast and everyone looks at me like, she did not just eat all that, holy smokes I can't believe it either. My stomach is a bottomless pit waiting to devour anything and everything I shove into it. FEED ME!

Side note - I get a lot of emails and comments about my training & blog and I'm so appreciative! But sometimes they come from people that I don't' know...like my latest one from "lifting iron". Who are you?? Please tell me who you are and where you live. I like to keep track of how far my blog goes. We've made it to Tennessee before. - End note

So here is a knee update for you. Dr. appointment is Friday. Tuesday was HELL! I felt like a cow by the end of the day for not working out. I met Dave for a run (Dave style of course) and although I was aware I had a knee situation it didn't hurt like it did on Monday night. This whole thing really does lead me to believe that it's my foot position on the pedal. I'm biking tomorrow an easy 25 so we'll see how it goes.

Yep, I ran today. Running with Dave always gives me anxiety and I don't know why. He scares me! It's one of the few times I have a really hard time focusing my head. I worry about falling over and having road rash all over my face or my breathing is too fast....I'm going to faint or he's going to get even faster...STOP!!! All these things flood my head until I just want to stop and say those words....you know, those words I hate to say.... I can't. I think sometimes not knowing how far or how long we go makes our workouts hard for me to wrap my head around. It's really a complete loss of control when we are together. WAIT A SECOND!!!! hummmm maybe I'm on to something here....

Yes, yes... swimming, biking AND running tomorrow so it's a tri day. Looking forward to LM puttin the smack down on me for all three. eekks

Frustration and worry

So today is not my best day...You all know I've been having some shoulder problems and now, well, my knee is giving me problems too. I've been working though these pains for a while hoping they would go away as I got stronger but as it turns out I'm just playing games with my head.

For the first time since I started last April I had to cancel my workouts for today because of my knee and shoulder. I'm trying to find an Orthopedic Dr. today. I did some research and it really could be a number of things, however, I'm hoping it's just the position of my cleats, bike seat and hill work I've been doing. Keep your fingers crossed because I cannot take another day off.

I'm almost certain my should pain is my rotator cuff...not good. Sometimes the pain wakes me up at night and all the swimming has created a constant ache that I just can't take anymore. It really does stink to get older. We'll see how it goes.

Weekend fun

Brrrrrrrr - there are some days where I just don't want to ride my bike to the gym because it's so cold... Let's weigh my options. Ride and get the miles that are required for the week/month (REWARD) or not ride and end up on the dreaded "machine" (NOT A REWARD) and have Dave ask me where my bike is (double whammy!). This machine leaves me swimming in sweat, unable to feel my legs or rear and just all around beats the hell out of me. Let's seeeee......which do I choose??? Sometimes I start to choose the machine but then the quilt hits me and I start packing my backpack for the bike.

I was thinking on my way home, why can't the IM include weight lifting? I could do well in that category. It started to sprinkle on my way home and I thought, YEAH, I get to call for a ride home. As quickly as I thought it though, I could hear Hollon's voice say, "no you don't, riding in the rain is training for something" and I just kept going. How do I get the voices out of my head???

This weekend was awesome. I played a little cat-n-mouse with Butch, Vickie and Hollon for 55 miles. I left B & V's about 7:00 and the idea was to see if they could catch me...they left at 8:00. SUPER FUN! I was a lot faster on the uphills then I thought (though still slower then most people I know) and my nutrition was spot on so I really learned alot, besides just having saddle time. As I approached Pima something competitive happened and I just kept going. I wasn't sure how far behind they were and something inside said to not let them catch me until we get home....so I jammed on Pima, got lost after Pima and they took me out....they made it home about 20 minutes before me and WOW - what a day. I can't wait to play it again. We do need to shorten the time...maybe 30 - 45 minutes next time.

I'm excited about the week. Brig and I meet for regular weekly swims, Dave and I are progressing on the bike and I'm always working on my internal dialog. Maybe he'll have another group workout soon?? Always something to look forward to.

53....

53 bike miles tomorrow. I'm packed and ready....and nervous...and excited...but mostly nervous!

It's Hollon, Butch and Vickie's job to try and catch me tomorrow so it's a little cat -n- mouse we are playing...and it will be fun. I leave 1.5 hours before they do so we'll see how fast they go. I'm hoping to be close to Pima by the time they see me and able to ride the down hill home together. Keep your fingers cross...

Come to Jesus meeting!

Things are happening...I think I'm growing up!!

Recently I came to the conclusion that my desire to do the IM came from my Heavenly Father and the process of training for this event was for a much bigger reason..and it has nothing to do with crossing a finish line.

I have spent more time alone in my thoughts since this whole process started last April. That's a lot of time to think and rationalize about how I feel about a lot of different things and who I want to be and how I want to contribute to my own life and those around me. During this process I was able to let go of some "dirty secrets" as my friend Lori called them and really start to heal some wounds from the inside out. I'm not a victim of my past, I own it and I'm learning how to step outside of myself and see things from other points of view.

Recently I have found a ton of comfort in prayer. Something Joel Osteen said weeks ago really hit home with me... God wants us to be prosperous. That doesn't mean he wants me to have a ton of cash (though I am waiting for my stimulus check any day now) but it means he wants me to have a rich life and until I can soften my heart more, pay attention to my actions and how they affect others and let some of the walls down - I can't prosper. I'll continue to pound my head against the pavement in frustration until I quiet myself, be still and listen to what He wants to teach me. He speaks very LOUD when I workout alone.

I'm not sure the finish line will ever come and if I keep learning and start to "get it", then I don't want it to. I want to stay on this path...maybe He'll clean up my mouth next....I curse too much!

Swimming

Just a quick post today. I met my swim coach and WOW..I didn't realize I could sweat in the pool! It was a tough workout and my shoulder was very sore by the end. I've been thinking of seeing a Sports Physician but not sure just yet. I've been wishing it away, but it's just not working for me....

I don't always like having a "rest" day. I feel lazy and bored, though I know how important this day is. I should bite my tongue because tomorrow is packed...biking, swimming, gym and I need a run. That's an all day deal there and I'm super excited about it!

Focus, Focus

I'm in a mood today! Poke me in the head again and I'll have your finger for lunch...beeeaattcchh

I have to keep my head down and stay focused...when I do, WOW my workouts are fantastic! The best way to start is by watching Dave and Windy push hard. Man...they are beasts and I got a little glimpse of it this morning.

We did a run/bike/run today and I have to say I'm pretty pleased with my performance. I started with four running laps, then biked and ended with six running laps...my six lap set wasn't too far off from the first set (time wise) and that makes me happy. I'm really focused on my thought process when I'm training and trying to be more self aware. When I overcome my mental challenges, everything else falls into place but that certainly does not mean it's easy. Sometimes the mental exercise is HARDER then the physical but I need to be mentally strong and able to pull myself back into the game for IM or it's all for nothing.

I'm thinking about my plan for the weekend already because I'm almost certain a long bike ride is in my future. Though it's always nice to workout with friends, spending time alone in my thoughts is nice too and I'm in the mood for some of that meditation and peacefulness.

Tomorrow, swim, swim, swim and Friday bike, gym, swim and run....Gosh, I feel tired just thinking about it all.

Nake ladies - literally!

I don't even know where to start! Today's post is XXX rated so don't let your children read this.

Let's start at the beginning though. Sometimes I have external noise that takes my focus away from training. Sometimes my head is just full of negative thoughts and sometimes my heart just isn't in the game. I had a combination of all three starting off today. My legs felt heavy and I just couldn't get myself motivated to try harder. Here is the deal....I do my best thinking while on my bike and it didn't take long for me to realize that it wasn't really physical today because it was not a hard ride. It was mental. You see, I've had a pretty tough couple of weeks with an acquaintance of mine. She's called me a few choice names like f -er and poked me in the head with her finger and told me "YOU SUCK"...she's pretty much bullied me and I can't stop thinking about her. I don't know why this is happening or why she would be so rude in general but it's taking all of my attention away from my job, Ironman training. I feel really bad about it and I can say with all honesty that I didn't provoke any of her nasty comments and certainly not the poke in the forehead. Why is she like this and why is she like this to me? I told her she's not allowed to call me names anymore. We'll see what happens with that. If I wake up with egg on my car I'll know who did it but I feel bad about the situation. I think she wants a friend but doesn't know how to have one...I'm torn. Geez...am I back in high school or what!

Nevertheless, my focus today was not on biking and when I realized it I started to think about how blessed my life is. I don't have much and I live a simple life - just the way I like it. My family and I sacrificed a lot this year so that I could train 4 days a week with Dave and I'll be damned if I'm going to let somebody try and take that away from me by taking my focus away from what I'm suppose to learn from him. I kicked my butt into gear and started to feel better. Much better. I started thinking about how I want my body to look and feel and was able to put a smile back on my face, laugh a few times and enjoy being outside.

(XXX rated - bypass if you are under 18 or have a weak stomach) The good stuff!!! I met B ;) at the pool today and it was nice. I was able to share some stuff and just chatting with another gal made me feel better. We swam for an hour and hit the shower. Now, remember months and months ago when I talked about the naked ladies at ASU and asked, is it really necessary to walk around the locker room chatting with people while your boobies are flappin about? Remember that??? Well...today "tops" it! First of all, there was a lady in one of showers making some strange noises. Like maybe she had somebody in the shower with her kinda noises. B and I were a little freaked about that! Okay, shower quickly and get the hell out of there I'm thinking. This is a SMALL locker room too. I'm packing up my stuff, B is just getting done and out comes amazon woman! Yes, a very jolly looking woman probably in her late 50's early 60's who hasn't given herself a trim since 1945 or so. Somebody could weave a sweater from that craziness. Not that I was looking but sometimes it's just thrown at you and you can't look away. Now seriously, what makes a woman think that first, she doesn't need to take care of her business and second, it's okay to show everyone that you don't care? Somebody take a match to my eyes!!! The really funny part, the part that made me laugh out loud was that B was stuck there..in the corner of the locker room and the only way out was to turn around and face Miss amazon head on. LMAO!!! B says she needs therapy now...and lots of it. What was I to do? I'm so sorry I left you behind...lol.. We both needed that laugh so bad. What a great way to end a long, hard day.

Say my name!

Booooo...the Cards lost. It's like the Monday Cardinal blues in the valley. Everyone is kinda poopy. Well, it was great just being nominated, right. lol

Jumped on my bike for a ride down to the gym. It was hard today. Was I tired or did Dave add more weight, I'm not entirely sure but man, I was wiped out...nearly showed him my breakfast towards the end. Have you ever noticed that when people add your name into a conversation it kinda makes you take notice to what they are saying more. Like, "Come on vs. Come on Kim". Well, for me it does and tone too. The tone of voice adds intensity. So I'm working on this machine and Dave says, "come on Kim" eekksss...he said my name! That means I must not be trying hard enough....I'm looking lazy, acting lazy, not living up to my potential PANIC!!! It's not the first time this has happened but I never really know what it means..ya know, when he adds my name into the mix. Is it bad? Is he disappointed in my performance or is it just a way to get my attention? Don't know....but I'm freaked out! Freeeaaakkkkeeeddd out.....

I had to stand outside for a few minutes and get some fresh air before I could ride again. It was rough today. I didn't feel very strong and that bugs me.

I've been bidding on aerobars on eBay but ugh, can't seem to win one yet. I was out bid last night by $9!! Man that stinks! I asked for foot warmers for my birthday...we'll see how it goes. Maybe I should have asked for bars?? Is it too late to change my mind? I have champagne dreams and only beer money.

Let's do it all again!

It's February, can you believe it?? That means two, no three things.

1. The clock rolls over on my bike/run/swim miles.
2. Training will get harder
3. I turn 40!!!

And all in that order too. Let's start with #1. I finished 300 bike miles yesterday and have to give a huge shout out to my friends Geronimo and Lucinda (names changed to protect the innocent ;) HALLLAAAA After a few mishaps like tire changes, pump issues, shoe changes - oooppss, no, the shoes are okay, and a quick chain fix we were off and riding. What I witnessed was down right hilarious ladies! If it's entertainment you want, just go to G & L's pad...

Anyway, our ride was perfect. Had it not been for them I can't say that I would have talked myself into getting on the bike. They really made me work for my position in the pack and that's exactly the kind of riding that I need.

#2 As I get stronger, and this month I've overcome some plateaus, my training will get harder and harder as the miles get longer and longer. However, this is a short month so I have to admit that I've been really curious about the miles Dave will give me on Monday. I opt for a rest day today so I won't be riding with my NWLB (my Sunday woman's group) and I feel guilty about it. I shouldn't...but I do. ugh.

#3. I'll be 40 this month. I feel so young and alive that I can't believe I'm leaving my 30's already. I want a do-over! I'm just getting started here. Save the date because we are going out Feb 27 for drinks and dancing!

It's Super Bowl day and I'm baking red cupcakes for the big game. Go Cards!